A question for those who are divorced......?

Gladys Worthing: Just drifted apart when both work and come home tired it is easy to do.

Dick Ovdenk: If you love each other truly you can never try too hard. If you dont love each other it makes no sense to make it work as you are both missing out on true love.

Houston Venezia: Many reasons but the top one would be fear.

Newton Fedorko: he was so focused on the future that he forgot how to enjoy the here-and-now .... couldn't wait for the kids to 'grow up and get out' so it would be 'just the two of us' ... money ... control issues ... and then there was the look on his face when he said "I don't love you, but I respect you"...... (you know, that matter of fact look someone gives you when they are breaking your heart by being sincere and clueless at the same time.)

Minh Lefrancois: My girlfriend initiates all the time. Wife... not so much.

Gaynell Pizzaro: I'd say my wife truly initiates maybe 10-15% of the time... I'll initiate 50% of the ! time... and the rest of the time we start kissing etc and end up ripping our clothes off.

Ervin Overbee: That may be nature of her. She may not necessary to have sex like you. But remember sex plays a vital role in marriage life. It's better to discuss with her now itself and sort out this. People are different. Unless you select a correct partner, it's suffering of life. So, don't let your heart to make decision, let your mind to make a decision.

Jefferson Sarson: Women think it's a man's job. Since she always says yes, stop trying to read her mind, and just enjoy.My wife initiates maybe once a month. The other times it's me.

Ninfa Aronica: Ya know great question, still not sure of that answer. Going to Court on the 29th after 15 years. I will have to make sure to ask.

Rona Espalin: Internet porn obsession, cheating abusive, liar, mama's boy

Gus Leiby: You just might be absolutely right. If she doesn't initiate sex every now and then it's on! ly going to get worse. I was married to a woman like that for ! 13 years.. She probably likes you a lot and knows you are good husband material but as soon as you marry her and she has a child or two she is going to cut off your water. My ex wife's idea of sex was once every 6 weeks if I was lucky. Do you think you are going to be able to live with that. I saw the same signs before we got married and foolishly chose to ignore them because I was in love. Don't make the same mistake I made. I have met several women since the divorce that were genuinely into me and we had the fun of our lives. That's what you want.

Antonia Quinnett: I can't speak for myself, but I'm married to a man who is twice divorced. The first he left because he was miserable with her. He only married her because he got her pregnant, and she was going to have an abortion if he didn't. He has very strong "religious right" views, and didn't want that to happen, so he married her. They ended up having 2 more kids that he didn't plan (she was supposedly on the pill ! all 3 times). He wanted to go to medical school, but every time she was supposed to go to work so he could start school, she got pregnant again. He finally got to a point where he ended up having an affair, and felt so guilty, he left her. The second marriage only lasted a year. He married her on the rebound from the first, but the reason it ended was because his 3 kids are everything to him, and the first time they visited for an extended period of time, she was like the stepmother out of Cinderella. No kidding...I was talking to my stepdaughter this summer, and this woman told her and my stepson (ages 10 and 13 at the time) that she and their dad were going for a walk, and that she wanted them to have dinner ready when they got back! Her 2 kids each had their own bedrooms, but his 3 had to sleep on the floor in the living room for a week. I can't remember what finally sent him off, but he pack up the kids and spent the rest of the week at his parent's house, then asked fo! r a divorce after they went back to their mom's....Show more

Ayesh! a Genova: He was immature and self centered, so therefore unable to fully commit himself to another person

Dallas Bartolini: If it's at your discretion, then yes, it's up to you. However, you have to be reasonable. If you put restrictions on her rights to visitation that are not reasonable, she can take you back to court.

Ramon Dahlheimer: Money and sex. I wanted it all the time (sex) and he wanted it once or twice every 2 wks, weird huh? Little did I know he ejoyed his laptop much more than a real woman. Too many differences and not enough in common. We are still friends though. :)

Star Gollnick: My ex wife has supervised visitation. She has not asked to see the kids yet but she came to my home banging on the door wanting to see them and the police made her leave. The papers just say that she has supervised visits at my discretion or something. Do I just make a schedule and tell her what it is?

Dulcie Edis: She does about 25% of the time.

Melina Minneweather: Well theres the cheating and he said he did not love me anymore and wanted to move on after 17 years.

Ronnie Barcus: She allowed herself to reach BBW stats. Was too needy and her family could make their own series as the Walmart Hillbillies. Mother in law could eat an apple through a picket fence. Remember, when you breed a champion with a goat you have no license to be disappointed in what you create. I have a name for this type of off spring......Democrats!

Arden Strachn: Yes you should to let her know when, where, and what time

Lilli Kochel: I want to know how often the woman in the relationship initiates sex. My girlfriend and I have a good sex life, and usually have sex at least four times a week. I always put here needs first, and we both always get the big-O. But, I have noticed that I'm ALWAYS the one who initiates it. She never says no or acts like she doesn't want to have sex when we do. But, I wonder why she never ini! tiates it on her own. In a way, I feel like maybe she may just be doing! it out of obligation since she never acts on her own initiative.Note: I am asking this question in "marriage and divorce because it seems like when you ask this kind of serious question in "singles and dating" all you get are a bunch of juvenile responses....Show more

Mitsuko Manne: drifted apart no sex

Sheree Hipwell: he made me sick just to look at him

Joni Ziak: We were just complete opposite, I wanted kids, he didn't, I do the chores, he doesn't believe in doing chores, I bring the money home, he brings the remote to his couch, overall, he's not what I'm looking for, guess its bad to get married young huh? Well, now I'm married to a wonderful man, and I'm a mother/friend to his kids, although I'm still planning to have kids of my own.

Rana Rudell: Too much booze, too mean, too uncaring.

Robt Betker: I was married to a man who was bi-polar and he refused to take his medication or get any other help.After three years of ups and downs and es! calating abuse, I finally left.

Elli Esaw: You always hear people say, try and make your marriage work. But if you have married a woman for wrong reasons and even been stupid enough to have a baby together, does it make sense to try and make such a marriage work? If yes, then when have you tried enough?

Dominic Sciancalepore: Yes you should tell her.

Derrick Kloke: you just need something to complain about if she isn't saying no then why worry about it. If you wanted a woman to be more aggressive then you shouldn't have married her. It just sounds like you are bored and need something to complain about. A lot of guys are going without sex even after they beg for it.

Leontine Kreitz: Emotional and physical abuse.

Jorge Detlefs: I got divorced because she was a conniving, self-centered, manipulative POS (piece of sh!t). I got to the point to where I couldn't take it anymore and called it quits after 7 yrs.I haven't talked with her in 6 - 7 ye! ars and it's been great! This is the most peace I've had in a loooooong! time.

Penelope Armond: She discovered she was a lesbian.True story!i am not a fan of divorce, but that's a deal breaker!

Delphine Cajka: I initiate it most of the time. Get it? Not so much.If you have a good sex life I wouldn't worry. She doesn't initiate it because she doesn't have to...you do it all the time. You could ask her or just back off and see what happens.

Sherrill Botting: another women

Caryl Mclaen: There are many reasons as to why there is a divorce other than cheating.

Cornelius Thornborrow: #1: I didn't change and she did. When she and I met, I was drinking 3 or 4 nights a week, and she even drank with me sometimes. When we married, she went gung-ho with her religion and stopped drinking. After 9 years, she divorced me when I was drinking no more than about once a week. Never any abuse against her or our son -- I was what some called a happy drunk. The no-fault laws let her divorce me for "irreconcilable differences."#! 2: Rebounding (only 16 months from first divorce) and choosing the wrong woman in the first (second) place. I think she was bipolar. After 8 months being married to her, I left and filed for divorce for irreconcilable differences....Show more

Herma Ellebrecht: The Doctor told me I loved him. (I was pregnant) We got married, and after 5 years, I figured out the good DR. was wrong. We never lived in one place more than a year. And he was always drinking. Biggest red neck I have ever known and loved. Still is after 20 years.

Donnie Bolio: i guess so but don't get a big head about it, the courts can turn on you one day.

Ewa Homrich: ...money and infidelity! I paid child support no alimony it wasall for the better.

Iris Shawcroft: just plain sick and tired of each other

Idell Syed: Good question, too much cheating on YA.My first husband and I split for a few reasons. We actually grew apart during our marriage. My career was taking off and! I was involved in a lot of activities. He was out of work for two lon! g stretches of our relationship and it seemed like I was going up and he would be less and less motivated and didn't want to really do much. Ultimately we determined he had mild depression but I got tired of him wanting to sit on the couch all weekend and not do anything. Money was a big issue, mostly because of his extended unemployment. And I had some control issues. I was pretty sure it was over, but insisted we try counseling. We did and things improved a bit for a while. But then we started getting into the real meat of the work and he realized he had more work to do than I and decided to bail. He couldn't handle really fixing himself. We still cared for each other but ultimately we were too different and couldn't continue to grow together....Show more

Marcelle Vanlith: Abuse

Leora Klingelhoets: My wife initiates most of the sex in our relationship. Not that I don't want it but, she just happens to be the one who initiates it the most. Usually when ! I'm asleep which is a nice surprise to wake up to.

Delora Struzzi: Cheating was one. Sorry I just had to say it. My ex wanted me to abort our daughter and didn't really want children after we got them. He was cruel and abusive to my children and myself. I became ill with panic attacks and had to be hospitalized more than once. He wasn't understanding at all. I had severe panic attacks around him. He didn't care. We went into a pizza place and the more people that came in, the worse panic I felt. I ran out to our van and it was my children that brought me out some pizza. When I was told I had cervical cancer and had to get a hysterectomy, he seemed unaffected, I have twin sons and because one liked art more than sports, he was calling him a queer and tried to send him to school with a dress on. I stopped him. He was always calling my sons retards and used foul language all the time. I hated it and he didn't care. I told him each time. He would tell my sons in their ear! ly teen years that "Next month you're out of here". He did this every m! onth and they were good kids. When I came out of the hospital, I was on an antidpressant that wouldn't allow me to eat and it made me not want to get up from the bed or live. His answer was to take out a rifle and point it at me and threaten me. In the beginning of our marriage he wasn't even that affectionate. I was different and wanted to make love but I think he was just a sicko as I was trim, petite and cute. So many times he didn't touch me for 6 months and then he could never satisfy me. He didn't communicate except for yelling and threats to us all. I have a daughter too. He forced me to get a job even though I was involved in so many things. I asked him to call an ambulance after laying there (and he was around) for 14 hours with chest pains and I got up and started to black out. I asked him to call the ambulance and I had never asked that before. He waited awhile longer and then I didn't remember anything until I was given oxygen in the ambulance. They hospitalized! me for 5 days but didn't find the reason. All my husband said was he was told I was clinically dead. No sadness, no tears....just coldness. He shoved me when I was pregnant with our daughter and swung and missed. I called the police and had his butt taken out. I vowed to never let any man hit me and this is how I stopped him. Then he wormed his way back in my life after he filed for divorce and ate the food that I got from the welfare. I stayed with him for 21 years and I regret not leaving him sooner. He told me he took a bunch of pills one time and I checked the medicine cabinet and he lied. He lied about so many things including that he killed in Vietnam and will kill again. He never was in Vietnam and my poor kids don't know what to believe. Only one of my sons sees him, the other two can't stand him. I had a stroke and was laying on the floor when he came home one day. I was having major problems with our daughter . I had no feeling in my legs and my arms and he picke! d me up and shook me. All I could get out of my mouth that was drooped ! and difficult to talk was " I hate you." He drank too much and we always got into an argument over that. I filed for divorce and he didn't want one but at that point, someone was going to die. I had to get out. A judge didn't order him but told him he should get all the guns out of the house but he wouldn't. I couldn't take anymore and I got the small handgun and really didn't know what I was going to do with it. We struggled and I had the imprint of the trigger on me and it's a miracle that neither of us was shot. He also told me (when I wasn't around) that he put that same gun into his mouth and pulled the trigger and just happened to get the one empty one. I don't believe him. He moved a woman into the home I had given up before the divorce and had me go to the bathroom in the master bedroom by saying the other toilets weren't working. He wanted me to see female clothes and things in there and torture me. I gave him almost everything because he threatened to put our pets! to sleep if he had to move to a smaller home. He also had to take me to see the psychiatrist as I couldn't drive then and then threatened the psychiatrist. He believed that he was telling me to get a divorce and that isn't true. We went to therapy together but it never worked out, as he always got angry. I continued to go for myself. There is so much more that I could say and this reads like a novel, but it is all very true. I can't possibly type here as it would take me days to even say all that happened badly in our marriage. It wasn't even a marriage. He was a controller, abuser, a cheat, an alcoholic and he needed therapy as much or more than me. I moved back to NJ after the divorce and we don't speak . He was supposed to keep my life insurance policy but didn't. My grown kids believe he has a policy, but I found out I don't. I am disabled now and if I had the money, I would go back to Michigan, take him to court for the life insurance and make him pay it as ordered by! the judge and in the divorce papers. I don't want to burden my childre! n when I die and this is why the life insurance is important. It is for them. Well, I am an open book and all is true and this isn't even all of it. I may be poor and disabled but I am so happy to be away from him. I regret not getting out a long time before that and I lost so many young years of my life. I stayed for the kids but I now know that was a big mistake. Enough reasons? I rest my case....Show more

King Bringle: My boyfriend & his ex-wife broke up because of RESPECT.

Carter Dewater: If that would be a turn on for you to have initiate sex, then just tell her.My husband and I have had that talk before - I'm always the one initiating BJ's obviously, but he usually initiates sex more. He told me a while ago that it's a big turn on for me to get him in the mood spontaineously. She can't read your mind. Tell her.